Happy 36th

December 21st...Shaun's Birthday. He should be turning 36 today. So many dreams and so much life he missed, and also so much living he was able to squeeze into his beautiful and brief life.
I asked him when his birthday was when we first met. He said, "Well, i can't tell you, but I can tell you it rhymes with Beesimbur Bunty-fun."  I never forgot it..., guess his crafty and clever little plan worked.
I am amazed by Shaun still... every day I feel him. Every day I am better because of him. But this holiday season as I celebrate the birth of my Savior, I also celebrate the birth of my soul-friend, my heart's joy, my beloved. I express such gratitude for the blessings of their lives. They have both taught me and remind me still where I am going and the sometimes hidden and challenging path that leads home.
I feel so completely and utterly blessed to have had this incredibly precious man in my life, to have spent the closing scenes of his life with him. I could have missed out, I could have missed HIM. Thank You, God, for the blessing.
Loving and missing you always...
Happy Birthday.

What Is This Thing That Men Call Death

By President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008)

What is this thing that men call death,
This quiet passing in the night?
’Tis not the end, but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.

O God, touch Thou my aching heart,
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change

With recompense for victory won;
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.

 God be with you till we meet again...I love you.

Back to the river...

(This post has been sitting in my 'drafts' folder for a couple of months - now that it's 7 degrees outside, maybe it's time to post this in homage to the long lost warmth of Fall.)

Spent a week in Desolation Canyon... it was quiet and desolate... go figure.
It was also a much needed escape to what has always been my 'happy place'.
It provided partial solace - which was more than I expected. Seems that the best parts of life are still in the mountains, rivers, and deserts of the world. Concrete and city lights never had and never will have my heart!
During lunch, a couple of taildraggers came winding their way up the canyon... Shaun would have loved doing that... sand-bars a plenty for touching down on the river. The day remained somber and quietly lonely... wholly incomplete.
Hiking, petroglyphs, and chicks...
Watching one of our boats go through the newly altered rapid at 'Cow Swim' on river left. One or two rocks to avoid...
Hiked up to the Moonshiner's Cabin at Firewater Canyon with Ash and Kelli. Kel is one of my oldest and dearest (friends since kindergarten) and Ash was my roommate in our double-wide trailer while working as a river guide a few years back. Morning on the boats - Why mummy-bag it when I can bring my queen-size bag and sleep in comfort?
River-pup Jax. Had a great time and loved the river. Guess he's well trained.
Celebrating Kel's birthday on the river with a dutch-oven cake and match-stick candles... :)
Rowing on the river, even the worst days are good...
Camp at Upper Lion Hollow - Night 3. Awesome spot...
Queen Nefertiti - view from Camp 5.
It was good being on the river. Good getting blisters and rowing in winds... Good to remember what it feels like in places where city lights wouldn't dare detract from the skies. Found a new star cluster (new to me that is) - Pleiades - how'd I miss it all this time? Beautiful...
Always missing him - always feeling him near. Always waiting...
Love you.