Six Months and Counting

(Photo I took at the beautiful location of Shaun's memorial service)

Shaun’s thoughts:

“The gift of choice started with the fall of Eve :) (Adam didn't have a chance... poor 'ole sap... ha!) The most amazing thing is the concept of free will. The battle between God and Satan is truly not fair. God is going to win. He has all the cards. He even knows the ending, as does Satan. But faith allows us to make a decision to choose God because of our love for God. To know God is to love God. If we could see everything, we'd see just how unfair the battle really is, how God promises more than we can imagine and Satan promises death.

Brian [Brian is Shaun’s friend, a youth pastor in Washington who he greatly admired and respected for dedicating his life to what he believed in] and I were talking about this a few weeks ago, and I enjoyed some of his insights about a few of these details. The thief on the cross turned to Jesus and said, "I want to be in your kingdom some day." (paraphrased New Lunt version) Jesus told the man he would be saved, then they died. Up until then the man had been living a life worthy of criminal punishment, not at all Christ-like. Jesus didn't ask him to say anything special, or to "first do these tasks" or anything else. The man simply believed in Jesus and He was saved.

David is an interesting character in the Bible. He did just about every terrible thing a person could do. One of those "reality is worse than fiction" kind of deals. And yet David is the only person God ever called "a man after My own Heart." David did awful things, and yet he kept coming back to God, asking for forgiveness, asking God to be in his heart. If we were saved by what we did, David would be screwed. But we're saved through God's grace, through Jesus dying on the cross for our sins-- any of them, and us accepting that.

Anyway, all this brings me back to my original thought (though it isn't my thought, I'm stealing from other people, I'm sure)- Anything I do in this life should be aimed at helping to restore God's community with the people He created and loves. By telling people about Jesus, by living an example of a Christ-like life, by treating people well, by showing transparency in my dealings, by loving people as Jesus loves people to open their eyes to Him.

Well, I gotta admit, I find myself drawn toward the first 3 things more easily than the last paragraph. [This was following a silly pseudo-intellectual conversation on what was important in life and whether carpet should be considered toward the top of the list…]. OK, except for the carpet thing. I just really don't care about carpet. I know that is so irresponsible and selfish, but I just don't care. I probably need to attend a shag conference or something. Carpet does so much for me and I just walk all over it.

But anyway, back to what I was starting to say before I so rudely interrupted myself. My paragraph is my latest thoughts on purpose. It continues to evolve, hopefully in a mature and accurate direction. I know it's different than it was even 10 years ago. If someone were to look at my life and guess which paragraph I live by, I'm afraid it wouldn't be obvious enough. So I have a struggle with what I know is ideal, and whether or not I have my priorities in the right place. My friend Brian walks the talk, and I admire him for that. I can talk, but I'm working on the walk.”
~~Note from Shaun – December 2007

Again – I’ve struggled with whether or not to share my personal thoughts, and whether to share Shaun’s personal thoughts. Shaun was a very private person, but when it came to whether or not he could influence another’s life, help another move one step closer to eternity because of his transparency, he would have always chosen to share. I share his and my thoughts now, because he strengthens me, and I hope he can strengthen another heart. It’s unfair he’s gone from the world. I guess I don’t feel like it’s my right to keep his beauty to myself. Some things I’ll selfishly keep… some things I hope to share in an effort to keep expanding his impact.

Today, six months from the date of my heart’s darkest tragedy, please indulge the crudeness of my efforts and allow me to be a bit personal, to cry, to mourn the loss of my soul-friend, and my ‘shining moment in the sun’. In working with troubled relationships and marriages every day, I recognize the elusive nature of depthful connection, and the challenging, yet surreal beauty of its creation. So many can go their whole lives without creating that connection, without finding a person who connects, understands, and touches those deep, dark parts of our souls.

By some beautiful miracle, I found that gift in Shaun. Together, we carefully and respectfully discovered the core of the other, then moved in and set-up camp. Although love is meant to be pure and preciously protected, not all view it as such - and life experiences can jade the heart and lock doors. One's core is justifiably protected and seldom un-earthed... and few possess and develop the individual combination of traits, love, spirit, and courage to embark on that treasured responsibility and then commit to the challenge of fixing and forgiving when we foul it up. I feel blessed to have experienced the miracle - and with someone who amazes me, who inspires me, and who lovingly encourages me to be better simply by being himself. I feel I have been eternally blessed for that gift.

In Shaun’s honor, fight the good fight today. The battle is waging, but the outcome is already determined. The only defining point yet to be seen is whether or not we will allow ourselves to forget the truth and become a casualty of deception. Be good. Be honest. Try to love those that you have a hard time loving. And remember that ‘courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow.’

To those that are aching for Shaun today (and every day). I’m praying for you. I hope you feel him in your heart and hear his soft encouragement and laughter in your mind. I hope we reach out for our Savior and find the light at the end of the too-dark tunnel. Shaun’s core believed in something real. He sacrificed for it. He cried for it. He lived for it. As Shaun’s Dad beautifully closes his thoughts with… Fly to Jesus, Shaun.

Loving you.

Heidi

(Shaun’s family has posted a video of Shaun that his Dad took moments before Shaun embarked on his final flight to Alaska. A film company based out of New York heard about Shaun and was interested in highlighting Shaun’s adventures in a movie on Real Life Adventurers. The film company requested a home-video for voice quality and visual perception purposes only. You can view this video on Shaun’s blog – www.shaunlunt.typepad.com)